so far away

Amen, quote, ame

So many people I care about...they're far away from me. Some of them don't care about me back. that's fine.(it's so not fine, but nothing will come of it since all R's be stubborn.) Some care about me, but are too wrapped up in others to realize I need 20 minutes of face time, the most we can do while she's so far away.

People are busy, I'm busy, we're ALL busy! But you make time, 10, 20 minutes for your friends who desperately need you.

As for the close/far away friends...I'm gonna tell you when I need help...because I do right now. Scratch that. not help. just an ear for listening and a mouth for advice. I offer the same to you. This is.....



Follow the Fortune Cookie

"Now is the time to explore the nearest coast"

At 1st I thought this was the worst fortune ever, until I realized I could go visit a whole bunch of great friends in the New Year!

West Coast Trail

 I need to bike around the Seawell....that's happening next time

Pablo Neruda

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair by Pablo Neruba
Don't go far off, not even for a day
Don't go far off, not even for a day,
Because I don't know how to say it - a day is long
And I will be waiting for you, as in
An empty station when the trains are
Parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because then
The little drops of anguish will all run together,
The smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
Into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve
On the beach, may your eyelids never flutter
Into the empty distance. Don't LEAVE me for
A second, my dearest, because in that moment you'll
Have gone so far I'll wander mazily
Over all the earth, asking, will you
Come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You by Pablo Neruda
I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

Delayed Response Time


With so many ways to connect to people all over the world (like I have been doing with my friend John who is in Japan) you would think it would be easier to hear from certain people more than once or twice a week.

One time I went a whole week without a response from....I'm not going to type her name, but it takes a minute to respond. Even just today I texted a friend 2 or 3 different times with no response. Even from my mom...no response...


These all get in the way, but do NOT forget your friends... ( you are hurting them)

more like easy to blog where nobody visits, awkward to
text horrifying to talk face to face


Nobody Even Reads This, but I Want More Tattoos

For you are by my side...beautiful

Dream is to get a full sleeve....

LOVE her arm work

I'm missing a love that never was...a friendship that had blossomed so quickly, and become so important to me and then deteriorated in the blink of an eye. No matter how hard I reach out to this person...nothing. And it hurts. 
But I'll get past it, because I have to. And lately, that's just what I do. 


The Ubiquitous Marilyn Post

It was bound to happen, but I (just like millions of other women) love Marilyn's beauty, individuality, playfulness and quotability. She is an original, like we should all be. Next post on women...either Jane Fonda, Liz Taylor, Rita Hayworth,Katharine Hepburn, Bette Davis....AH so many amazing women to choose from.


I want this poster!
'tis true, boys!

Says it all... 

SO true...I need to have this printed on a card, constantly in my back pocket 


It's your love I've been after since you first said my name. And the storm I am caught in - waiting in Vain.


unable are the loved to die...

This week a friend of mine lost his mother. The thing about death and loss is that it inevitably brings up our own fear of losing someone that we love so dearly.  To my sweet Grant, you are strong and your mom is with you through this entire journey, stay strong. To everyone else, don't ever forget to say "I love you" to the ones who count...

Grant, I know she's in your heart every night. 

Unable are the loved to die.  For love is immortality.  
~Emily Dickinson

Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,
                              May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.
~Author Unknown

Death is Nothing At All

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.

There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.
 Henry Scott Holland ~ 1847-1918


What An Amazing Weekend

Sometimes love does conquer all and I was witness to an amazing couple making their love official and complete last weekend. Sladjana and Lubi were made for each other; I've never seen two people more suited for one another in every single way. 

I also got to spend time with my best friend, which I always cherish. Her being far away isn't always ideal, but it makes our time together that much more special. Her main man Jon got to meet her family and our super duper friend Ryan was kind enough to fly out to Edmonton to keep me company for the weekend and be my date for the wedding! Th boys had never been here so Sarah and I showed them a great "Edmonton" time, including THE MALL!, beers on the bus, Whyte Ave and Whitemud Amusement Park. 

Walking each other down the aisle <3

Who would have thought Proactiv would have created
life long friendships like this?

We weren't scared to wear our party crowns, even got the bride in on it!

Ryan was showing off for the family of 6.

My special friend and that other guy ;) 
Lady and The Tramp style bulldog share

Being able to laugh and have fun was something that hasn't happened for a while for me; I'm in a "rough patch" of life, so being able to just let go and enjoy myself with truly great people was great for the soul. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. 



I'm DONE letting other people steal my happiness, my integrity, my
smile and self worth. My heart is mine, body is mine, mind belongs
to me...and I am fixing myself. 


Instant Pick Me Up

No matter how down I temporarily feel, this movie just 
makes me smile!

When life hands you lemons, just say fuck the lemons and bail! 
Do you want to gag me? Kind of now...
You sound like you're from London!
I just went from 6 to midnight.

Oh, if they were Sean Jean sweatpants it would be no problem, but because they were Costco brand it's the worst thing I could do.

know what that means, if I put clothes on, its over.