umm...hello? remember me?
Your friend you haven't seen in a year?
Your friend whose sanity has been kept at bay by knowing that mid August would bring a visit out to Vancouver to see you, to spend time with you, to go camping, see some amazing bands, hang with cool people, drinks copious amounts of beer, catch up on a years worth of life.
Unfortunately life happened to me, hospital's happened to me, stress tests and CT scans happened;blackouts, inability to form words for 10 minutes and more vials of blood were drawn than I'd care to remember; ecgs and chest xrays happened; visits to neurologists happened...all in a matter of a week or so. When I told you, you that I couldn't go, yes...you were understanding. But that's about it, it seemed.
Am I selfish in wanting you to ask if I was/am scared? To REALLY ask what's going on, to tell me that you're worried FOR me/ that you're going to miss me there and it won't be the same with me?
I feel like I'm pleading for a moment from someone who can barely respond to a text message anymore; request for a Skype session gets shut down because there's barely anytime to hug your dog and watch your Kardashians...
The only positive thing about this hurting my heart is that it isn't PHYSICALLY hurting my heart. And that's about it for my uber dramatic 4am emotional blog post...let's see how long until I delete this, otherwise I feel like I could lose a friendship over it still being up (which would be absolutely fucking ridiculous...but stranger things have happened-i'm just too chicken shit to say it out loud-but then again it's hard when it takes days to get a response)
Your friend you haven't seen in a year?
Your friend whose sanity has been kept at bay by knowing that mid August would bring a visit out to Vancouver to see you, to spend time with you, to go camping, see some amazing bands, hang with cool people, drinks copious amounts of beer, catch up on a years worth of life.
Unfortunately life happened to me, hospital's happened to me, stress tests and CT scans happened;blackouts, inability to form words for 10 minutes and more vials of blood were drawn than I'd care to remember; ecgs and chest xrays happened; visits to neurologists happened...all in a matter of a week or so. When I told you, you that I couldn't go, yes...you were understanding. But that's about it, it seemed.
Am I selfish in wanting you to ask if I was/am scared? To REALLY ask what's going on, to tell me that you're worried FOR me/ that you're going to miss me there and it won't be the same with me?
I feel like I'm pleading for a moment from someone who can barely respond to a text message anymore; request for a Skype session gets shut down because there's barely anytime to hug your dog and watch your Kardashians...
The only positive thing about this hurting my heart is that it isn't PHYSICALLY hurting my heart. And that's about it for my uber dramatic 4am emotional blog post...let's see how long until I delete this, otherwise I feel like I could lose a friendship over it still being up (which would be absolutely fucking ridiculous...but stranger things have happened-i'm just too chicken shit to say it out loud-but then again it's hard when it takes days to get a response)
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| HEART'S A MESS |
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