Cut Ties

This is difficult. I wanted to love you, and you said the same. Once again, you pulled the same old shit. Late night phone calls professing love, wanting a life together. So it is time for me to move on and forget about you, however hard that will be. First, and only love, stays with you forever. But you keep coming around and then pulling back,begging me for a life together, then ignoring me. It has to stop. I'm scared, I feel like nobody will love me like you did, Bubba.

I really did.



Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

-Langston Hughes


You've Been In My Side Too Long

It is time to remove the prick that's been deep in my side for far too long.

So Far 2011 Hasn't Exactly Panned Out As I Hoped It Would

Europe ins't happening this year (hopefully next year, right Sil?)
I'm hoping Vegas is still a go at least once this year.


I could go on a rant and blame other people, blame my job, complain about friends, but I wont. I only have myself to blame. (I guess that was a mini rant, but that's it.)

From here on out, I will strive to be as positive as possible, as honest as possible, as strong as possible and as creative as possible. I will rely on myself, I will not worry about the opinions of others. The people I used to consider best friends are more like acquaintances now, and that's fine. Sometimes people grow apart, and sometimes they need that space to bring them back together. For now, it's going to be all about me; Not in a selfish way though, in a necessary way. 

There are aspects of myself that I need to focus on fixing and rebuilding. I need to be brutally honest with myself about who I was, who I am RIGHT NOW and who I TRULY want to become. It's going to take a long time, but I'm ready to get out of this rut. I'm stalled in my life, and I don't want that anymore. Time to move forward into June 2011...

Here I go!