Coming To Terms and Facing The Consequences...

We all make mistakes...
This wasn't a mistake, this was a gigantic No No, an inconceivable move and, quite frankly, I still don't know what drove me to do it.
But it happened.

This is a defining moment where I KNOW I have lost someone I love for good, even though said person wanted me to come clean-and I came squeaky clean. ALL out on the table because that was the only way this person said there could be a possibility of salvaging our friendship.

With the genius idea to alienate myself from others, I've lost touch with SO many people, some who I would talk to on a daily basis, go on trips with, hang out just because...I don't have that with anyone. And that is on me. (I've also GAINED some unwanted friends-stupid FAT go home, my body doesn't want you here).

I can only hope that, with time, we are able to build up our friendship to what it was; those rare connections that don't come around all too often, or ever, and I don't want to lose that.

What I have to do now is reach out to others for many things; HELP when I need it, to reconnect, to strengthen weak friendships...a social network OUTSIDE of my family is what I need to heal and get back to me. The "me" from the last 6-8 months...I don't know who that was, but everything she told me to do made perfect sense. I'm just happy she didn't persuade me to jump off a bridge; I would have considered it...that she-devil was very convincing....

I'll explain this caption in my next post...ties in with the point I'm at in my life


I Return...And I'm Ready To Leave The Hermit Lifestyle Behind...

So I've taken quite a break from blogging...not sure why.

Well, I have a few ideas why;
job hunting
disappointment in 2 important friendships in E-town that have disintegrated, not
       due to lack of effort on my part
nothing to say
^^that's a lie, I have a LOT to say but the laziness took over
afraid my words would be taken out of context

Let's elaborate on the nothing to say; I have thoughts CONSTANTLY in my head, the voices never stop in the old noggin. But when it comes to putting pen to paper and fingers to keys, I would draw a blank. I've dreamt about becoming an author since I could read (Side note: I won my Grade 2 Reading Challenge-read more books than anyone else in the class, suck it Geoff Milburn, MJ Thompson and Noah Hopchin!)

I still keep a journal, but I write half page entries 1-2 times a week vs everyday 5,6 years ago. I'm slowly getting more consistent with that journal, so I'm going to slowly become more consistent with this blog.

You're welcome 4 people who sometimes peruse this, or who stumbled here because the words Naked and Cake are in the title.


books fill my heart with happiness, no matter what chaos surrounds me