and now for something I hope you'll really like!

20 Hilarious Exam Questions.....I suddenly feel smart. SMRT. I mean S M A R T!

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England.
These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds.

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour 
A. Keep it in the cow
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What is the most common form of birth control 
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

you brought this on yourself

Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. - Maya Angelou

Keep calm.....and that is all. Today is a new day, and I just need to breath. Everything will be ok.

It already is.

A wise young hunk said that when his work starts affecting the quality of his life, it's time to make a change. For him, it might be a change in jobs. For me, it's a change in attitude. 



....but then I think of you

and i feel fine


The past week....I have felt like this a lot of the time....


one can only hope

dog days are ALMOST over....

Silly and her fashion icon
I miss Marc and our raunchy sex talk that makes Sil blush

I'm missing some far away friends, so if I can swing a quick trip out to Vancouver in the next few weeks I am going to do that. I doubt I can get more than two or three days off in a row right now, but that's all I need to get a quick fix from some great friends.

I miss Sarah and our rain dances, our tests to see if we can get smiles outta peeps in Van. and our random dance parties.

I miss Alexis and our bananas and our laughs about stupid boys, travel, life and everything in between. 

I miss Lillee too....especially now that she loves me!
Lillee approves of this idea

now should i greyhound it, or fly?


more I want...

Here are the next five books I plan on buying....if you guys have any other suggestions for good books let me know!

How Did You Get This Number 
I Like You (hospitality under the influence) 
Pride And Prejudice And Zombies
Drink P lay Fuck 
Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang


M83 - We Own the Sky

If It Means A Lot To You

A Day To Remember
a new band that I'm really getting into thanks to a certain salty hunk...

Hey darling, I hope you're good tonight
And I know you don't feel right when I'm leaving
Yeah, I want it but no, I don't need it
Tell me something sweet to get me by
'Cause I can't come back home 'til they're singin'

La, la la la, la la la
'Til everyone is singin'

If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear to you that we can make this last
(La la la)
If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past
It might be for the best

Hey sweetie, I need you here tonight
And I know that you don't wanna be leaving
Yeah, you want it but I can't help it
I just feel complete when you're by my side
But I know you can't come home 'til they're singin'

La, la la la, la la la
'Til everyone is singin'
La, la la la, la la la

If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear to you that we can make this last
(La la la)
If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past
It might be for the best

You know you can't give me what I need
And even though you mean so much to me
I can wait through everything
Is this really happening?
I swear I'll never be happy again
And don't you dare say we can just be friends
I'm not some boy that you can sway
We knew it'd happen eventually

La, la la la, la la la
Now everybody's singin'
La, la la la, la la la
Now everybody's singin'
(If you can wait 'til I get home)
La, la la la, la la la
Now everybody's singin'
(Then I swear we can make this last)
La, la la la, la la la
Now everybody's singin'

If you can wait 'til I get home
Then I swear we can make this last

(Thanks to Matthew for these lyrics)



I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promise it won't be boring. -David Bowie

drunken ramblings take 3

Ok, so instead of bitching about the bad things that I have been writing about, lets just celebrate the good...
I don't really know the purpose of this post, but here's some pictures of people I like.....and probably
some completely random ones too considering it's 1:30 am

I have some pretty amazing friends. My Vancouverite transplant Sarah, the one person I can truly be myself with, dance in the rain, sing the Laverne and Shirley theme song and spend hours in bed together watching Bad Girls Club....and be ridiculously happy;

Kristi, one of my oldest friends, who has been with me through tough times, and I have been there during her rough moments, but having a few beers (with Jesus) and getting excited about the NKOTB/BSB tour makes me feel like I put a smile on her face, just for a moment; Candice, the most genuinely sweet person I have ever known who I have reconnected with recently, and despite her failure at a set up, we still laugh, dance and care about one another; and my long distant online/text friend/undercover lover Ashli....you, my dear, are a gem

Lindsey. My sister. She is my other half. I can't imagine life without her.



Too often I get stuck in my “rut-tine” of work, sweats, tv, bed. Even the laziest way of communication (bbm) seemed too much the past week or two and I have barely talked to my Vancouverized Silly! The past few days I’ve made a conscious effort to go for lunch with one of my best friends, plan coffee dates and yoga classes.

I spent Tuesday having beers with a few friends and a new man crush and just getting out of my house, putting on something that doesn’t have an elastic waistband was so refreshing. And needed. For me and for my dear friend who is going through a difficult time right now; just laughing, telling stores, watching a few episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm...made me feel happier and more connected to my friends.

Wednesday night I went to the Oilers game with another friend. Despite the horrendous loss, it was nice to go out, have a few beers and catch up. I always feel a little more complete when I spend time with friends.



Jeggings-My New Obsession

I love my jeggings. When leggings first came on the scene I was all "pfft those are ridiculous". Fast forward and I love leggings, especially on days off with a cozy hoodie and FUggs (fake Uggs- I cannot afford or fathom spending $300-400 on these comfy feet protectors when I can spend $30 on a super cute pair from Wal Mart, Zellers or Payless).

When JEGGINGS first came around I thought the same, and I thought they were even more ridiculous because I thought "if you want to wear jeans, just wear jeans" and "if you REALLY need to wear leggings, then just wear black leggings".

Boy was I wrong.

I love you Jeggings, I don't care what other people say about our relationship, but you are going to be in my life for a long time. You lunge with me, you stretch with me, you tuck into my boots with me, you dress up with me.

In a nutshell

Jeggings+my legs+=fashionably comfortable